For Pete's Sake!

Ok, so it has been a while since my last confession(Oops I mean rantings). The point being is I am a very busy man and have many different things on my plate. Which by the way, I never seemed to get the analogy of the plate. You're going to eat everything on it eventually, so why all the drama. I digress too much. I would like to take this time to thank everyone who helped get the fifteen year class reunion done. It was, by all means a success. Fun was had by I believe all. While everybody was obviously older, for the most part everyone looked the same. I mean they looked well. I say "most part" because if you happened to attend this soiree you would have noticed a giant roly poly of a man named Matt Clayton. Yes, that's me. What can I say. I have let myself go, and when I say I have let myself go, I mean it. I look like I could have eaten Jarod from Subway. I possibly might have eaten a small village in Guam.(I have not ever been to Guam, let alone eaten an entire Small village). The long and short of it is this, I need to get in shape.

Which leads me to my topic. EXERCISE! God's most ingenious invention. I admit that in the past I was a proponent for exercise. I would run two miles a day and even do a calisthenics regimen. I do realize that time changes everything. That being said. Oww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hurt worse baby Jessica(the girl stuck in the well for two days back in the eighties). I can describe how bad I ache. I rode my new bike which by the way are not made for giants. (especially the seats, yowza!) I did fifty jumping jacks, fifty situps and push ups. I am exhausted! I have parts of my body I didn't even know exsisted hurting. Correction, now that I am a medical student I knwe they exsisted I just haven't felt them before. I know that it is in my best interest as a thirtysomething, parent and husband to get back into shape, but it's very hard. I have nothing but respect for those persistent enough to engage themselves in human physical torture every single day. I truly do.

That being said, come on? They have invented everything from the can opener to a computerized robot that will do surgeries soon. "They" can't come up with a easy inexpensive do-it-yourself way of getting in shape. First: I know some of you will say, Weight loss pills, surgery. yada, yada, yada! I understand that. I also know that anything worth doing should be done right. So said my father so many many times. I am a victim of the now generation. I do believe in hard work and perseverence as long as I don't have to do it. (offended veiwers take note! I am not held accountable for anything Mr. Clayton says or implies.) I want the easy way out. Isn't that the "American" way. I deserve it because! period. plain and simple. I want to skinny so I should just be skinny.

Webster's dictionary defines Sarcasm: a sharp or often satirical or ironic utterence designed to cut or give pain.

Wouldn't be nice if no one felt like they deserved anything but what they worked for. I think it would be a boring world. No whiners!